This is Grief

THIS IS GRIEF

saturday morning
deep breath
more tears
get up dizzy
back into bed
make love to every sad song
try again
two scoops of coffee
undone
stop everything crying
on the kitchen floor
rainbow fractals
on the cupboard door
never saw that before
thoughts about angels
and cardinals
and that damn church
that you loved
so much
and then how much
i loved you
your floral slipcovers
fat-free ice cream cups
and puckered lip kisses
on christmas
ask where you are
and hear the news
whispered
she’s there
but i’m still here
toes cold on december tile
deep breath
rise heavier but
a little more clear
this is grief
and today
she’s with
me

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